Struggling with a book...

I finished reading _Every Person's Guide to Judaism_ and honestly, it was a bit glossy for me. I wanted something a little deeper--something that got into the overall theology... and in one of those coincidences of the electronic age, I got an email from the library listing new additions to their religion section.

And so I picked up Judaism: A Way of Being by David Hillel Gelernter. The email blurb had sounded PERFECT -- four thematic images that tie it all together, plus the Jewish answers to some of life's biggest questions...and while written for the searching Jew, it would be interesting to all students of religion.

Well, first of all, it appears that I'm not ENOUGH of a student of religion yet - he had references to the Torah and Talmud that were WAY beyond me - I did some side research as best I could.

Gelernter's also Modern Orthodox, or as he prefers, Normative. He is pretty darned certain that people stepping outside of traditional gender roles will destroy civilization....what? I had to put the book down a few times - he may call it "perfect asymmetry", but claiming that a woman (or homosexual man) is "fundamentally unfit" for the bimah? I don't buy your arguments, sir. Especially the misunderstanding of Shakespeare writing his female roles for female actors...

There was much in the book that was fascinating and some was even inspiring. It led me to more deeply consider the Abraham-Hashem relationship, to the point where I'm scripting not only their conversation, but Abraham's explanation to Sarah when Isaac spills the beans on Camping with Dad...

(I am doing a bunch of reading towards the credentialing process for Unitarian Universalist religious educators - if you'd like to know what that list looks like, check out http://www.uua.org/documents/recc/reading_list_annotated.pdf )

Will you be having an open bar at your reception?

(I swear, I'll get back to commentary on my reading list really soon.)

Why have an open bar at your wedding reception?

Well, it will add a certain sense of celebration and community - it is tradition around the world for people to come together to toast the occasion. It will definitely make much of your crowd happy.

But there are a few things to keep in mind besides the monetary expense--

It may set the tone for the entire event - people linger at the bar rather than mingling or getting in the buffet line. There may be some amount of raucous behavior, yes? When the booze is free, people may very well partake of it more than they usually do.

You probably want to have a few trusted family members or friends on hand to help manage people who have had enough. Or will you simply hope that the bartender handles it?

Be respectful as well, to those who may be in recovery, or who choose not to drink for other reasons. Attractive non-alcoholic alternatives are signs of a conscientious host.

--

Having unrestricted Joys and Sorrows in the worship service is like having an open bar.

Yes, it can add a certain sense of community and it will make a lot of people happy.

But it also sets the tone for the entire worship, and may lead things down unexpected (and sometimes chaotic) roads. It may even make some people uncomfortable.

And just as a reception may need those people willing to be "bouncers", a congregation needs to have elders who will take on such a role, articulating the rules of the tradition and speaking firmly and lovingly (after the service) to those who need clarification.

As in all things, your mileage may vary.

How does your faith enhance your life?

Reading: Every Person's Guide to Judaism (Einstein and Kukoff)

"For many Jews-by-Choice, their relationship with a Jew was the original impetus to explore Judaism....While an impending marriage with its accompanying thoughts of home building and child rearing may be the reason that some people begin to explore Judaism, it is important to realize that conversion is not a favor that one person does for another, regardless of the depth of love between them. Ultimately the choice of Judaism must be one that individuals make because it is right for them and because they believe that Judaism will be life-enhancing for them personally."

I'm just really digging the term "life-enhancing" as a criteria for choosing a faith. At first, enhancing seemed a bit shallow a word. Then I got the mental image of the folks cleaning the Sistine Chapel with qtips, it suddenly just coming into majestic new color...

(I am doing a bunch of reading toward the credentialing process for Unitarain Universalist religious educators - if

you'd like to see what that list looks like, see http://www.uua.org/documents/recc/reading_list_annotated.pdf )

UUism suffusing life?

Reading: Every Person's Guide to Judaism (Einstein and Kukoff)

"...this book is not simply about customs and ceremonies. Its focus is the deep connection between Jewish theology and Jewish living. Judaism is not merely a religion. It is a system that suffuses the life of its adherents."

Oh, how I would love to be able to insert "Unitarian Universalist/Unitarian Universalism" into those sentences. Authentically. Ours is a religion and we have theology. And we have oodles and oodles of wonderfully spiritual people doing wonderful work in the world... who do not want to own the words or do not recognize all that they do as an embodiment of Unitarian Universalism.

There is huge cultural work to be done. Sacred spaces to be created, baggage to be faced, and sweet revelations celebrated.

I'm ready to work and ready to celebrate. How 'bout you?

(I am doing a bunch of reading towards the credentialing process for Unitarian Universalist religious educators - if you'd like to know what that list looks like, check out http://www.uua.org/documents/recc/reading_list_annotated.pdf )

Would Good Will Hunting be welcome in your church?

There's a lot bubbling in my head right now, trying to explain the stretch that is authentic diversity. We truly DO want to look at our faith communities and see the proverbial rainbow, to know that a wide variety of opinions and backgrounds are in those minds...but when it comes time for conversation, well, most of us gravitate to those we already know, or those with whom we have easily identified common ground.

I could go on for hours, but then I'd be late to work. So, I'll jump back to the title of this entry--
Would Will Hunting be welcome in your church? He gets a plus for being brilliant and well-read. BUT, he doesn't have a degree and is pretty disdainful of that process, brutally blue color. He could get a plus for being from Boston, but his accent and clothes let you know it's more the Southie Boston than the Brahmin. His abrasiveness...well, it depends on the personalities already in the church and the content of a disruptive behavior policy.

Ok, maybe Will Hunting is a hard one. But consider your favorite character from another movie or a book. One who really stick with you. Is there a place in your congregation for that person?

Cutting Through It All

Shortly after I became a paid religious educator (as opposed to however many years I'd been doing the job instinctively and less formally), I met a minister. He was one of those rare souls with so little ego and yet such charm--it was impossible NOT to open up to him. Within a few minutes, over a simple dinner, he had me on my hopes and dreams. My stress and fears. Mostly he nodded. Asked the occasional question. Questions that gave me more questions.

Our time was limited--we needed to get back to a training we were attending. But as we stood to bus our plates he gave me a blessing that at the time didn't make sense. Indeed, it caught me by surprise. It was a truth I had to grow into, and then it gave me peace.

The specifics of it are not important. What is is the growing realization of the past few years of the magic he wrought with seemingly little effort. In the interim I heard from others with similar tales--how he was able to sense an underlying truth and pull it to the surface. Quietly, and with love.

One of these decades, I hope to cultivate this skill.

Part of the credentialing process for religious educators is a varied reading list. I'm currently studying Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi's _From Aging to Saging_.

...elders refuse to follow the well-trodden path marked "aging." Instead they trail blaze unmarked paths that lead to an exciting and fulfilling future. These pioneers represent a new shoot on the tree of life. As member of humanity's vanguard who devote the afternoon of life to developing their full human potential, they look upon aging as a developmental process whose goal is an ever-widening expansion of consciousness and a growing sense of unity with life...

People don't automatically become sages simply by living to a great age. They become wise by undertaking the inner work that leads in stages to expanded consciousness. The elders I have in mind refute the notion that old people are close-minded, set in their ways, slow and often senile--"old dogs who can't learn new tricks." They can and do undertake new learning by using growth methods from our contemplative traditions and exciting breakthroughs from brain-mind research.

I'm several years from the crone stage myself, but even I am getting quite a bit from this book. And while some of the content is a bit on the New Age side, it has a lot to offer to many in our (s)ageing congregations. A lot of power in these pages.